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| What has happened to me; My testimony | |
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| Topic Started: Jun 24 2008, 01:15 AM (555 Views) | |
| 2Brave2Bscared | Jun 24 2008, 01:15 AM Post #1 |
Truth
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(BN08, I know you have a policy against politics here, and I don't mean to start any kind of political/religious war with this post. I simply would like to give my testimony. If this creates a problem or is against board rules feel free to do what you like with it. Thanks.) Friends, I know many of you have noticed my absence around these forums in recent days and weeks. Perhaps, even, you've noticed a change in my behavior. I don't know. I know Mark (TCB) has wondered where I've been, why I don't come on MSN chat anymore. Well, I'll have to tell you later what I was doing for the better part of the last half of May and the first half of June, but here's what's been going on with me for the last 10 days (if anyone should care). On the morning of June 14th, 2008 I came across a YouTube video entitled "The True Gospel" by Paul Washer. In this video I heard -- for the first time in my life -- the Gospel of Jesus Christ in its pure, unadulterated form. Now, I grew up in a Christian home, so many of this was not entirely new to me. But watching this video did something to me; it said something to me that all these other cheap imitations of the Gospel that I've heard all my life failed to say to me. And now my life has been totally changed. I must apologize to you guys for claiming to be a Christian in the past when I wasn't. But understand that I did not do this to purposefully deceive. I proclaimed it because I thought it was true -- or at least I wanted it to be. I don't know for sure how many times I've prayed the inadequate "Jesus come into my heart" prayer throughout my life, but I'd estimate the number to be at at least a half-dozen times. And after each one of those times, I came away completely unchanged, going back to my old, carnal ways almost immediately after saying "Amen." I remember on one occasion a few years ago I got as far as two or three days of reading the Bible, forcing myself to pray and trying to live a more moral life before eventually giving up after realizing all the "work" that had to go into living a Christ-like life. "It's too hard! No one lives like this," I thought in despair. I know now that the reason why I failed all those times was because I never truly knew the Lord, and thus never experienced real, God-given regeneration. In the end I was left frustrated, and wondering why this Christian thing seemed to work for so many others but not for me. What was I doing wrong? Am I doing anything wrong? After all, I prayed the prayer that I was taught by all my pastors growing up (at least from what I remember) -- and I sure was sincere when I did it! Surely, then, I must be saved. Right? What always gave me a false sense of assurance was looking around at all the fellow "believers" in my life and seeing how they lived, and just like me they lived sinful, worldly, self-centered lives. Like me they went to church on Sundays, struggled through all the boring hymns, and tried to look interested throughout the sermon. And then, like me, they'd all run back home and spend the next six days living like God didn't exist and Christ's sacrifice on the cross was nothing but a silly fairytale. Isn't that what good Christians do? Say a silly little prayer (i.e. a worthless "decision") and then live like wretched, filthy, lost idiots the rest of their lives? Apparently so. But I felt empty, and deep down, whether I wanted to admit it or not, I felt like something was horribly wrong with my life -- and I was at a complete loss as to how to fix it. Then I came across that Paul Washer video. Finally, I was getting the answers I was looking for. Finally, someone was telling me exactly what I needed to hear in an unrestrained, straightforward, and brutally honest way. And for the first time in my life I realized how sinful and depraved I really was, and how much I needed to repent and cry out to Christ. So I did. And not only did I put my trust in Christ, but I freely and willingly gave my life to Him as well. By the time the video was over I was in tears. But no fireworks went off. There wasn't any jumping in the streets and crying for joy. There weren't any hallelujah choruses. In fact, afterwards I wasn't quite sure what had happened -- I know I certainly didn't plan on giving my entire life to Christ that morning.  But somehow I felt a sense of relief, like a great burden had been lifted off my shoulders, and for the next several days I spent almost all of my time praying, reading Scripture, and trying to get my hands on every Paul Washer sermon I could find. I stopped watching television. I stopped finding pleasures in all the worldly things that I used to love. Much of the sin in my life that I KNOW I could have never overcome on my own had suddenly vanished, and the sin that I still was committing quickly became abhorrent to me and I made a habit of repenting of it two or three times a day. What's more, I couldn't stop thinking about Christ; He practically took up every thought I had. Trying to live my life like Christ no longer felt like a chore, but instead was something I wanted to do, something I desired to do.I had been completely transformed. But I still wasn't 100% sure that what I was feeling was real. So I examined myself through Scripture and found that Biblical assurance that I needed. Now I know I'm saved -- and it's a wonderful feeling. Some of you may be reading this thinking I've gone crazy. If the Joel of two weeks ago could see this post he'd cringe in embarrassment and try to delete it -- that's how ashamed of Christ I used to be. Indeed, lost in my sin I hated God and everything about Him, though I would have never admitted it...even to myself. Now I just want to glorify His name in everything I do, and I don't care what anybody thinks about me. Though I'm still not completely free of sin, I am free from the condemnation of sin, and because of that I have a joy in my life that I've never experienced before. I can honestly say now that out of all the many proofs of God's existence, the proof of spiritual regeneration is by far the most revealing. And if any professing Christian out there is reading this and has no idea what I'm talking about, you may very well be lost just like I was for the first 23 years and 3 days of my life. Please, examine yourself so that you can know for sure where you stand with God. What could be more important? Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. I just wanted to share this with you all so that you'll maybe understand some of the reasons why I've been so seemingly disinterested in posting lately. Or maybe you'll just think I'm a fool. Honestly, that's OK. Thanks for reading, guys. ~ Joel (p.s. This may just be my most random post ever.  )
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"I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen." ~ Martin Luther My YouTube Channel | |
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| Braves N 09 | Jun 24 2008, 09:48 AM Post #2 |
The Show
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It maybe Random but it is telling us who you are now and what you want to become. |
  BRAVES FOREVERYOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU ARE TALKING TO ME. | |
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| TomahawkChopBoy89 | Jun 24 2008, 04:45 PM Post #3 |
All-Star
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Huh, well you're summer has been more interesting than mine so far..... For the most part anyway. 
Edited by TomahawkChopBoy89, Jun 24 2008, 04:46 PM.
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| ttiger2004 | Jun 24 2008, 05:30 PM Post #4 |
Manager
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Thank you for sharing your story 2Brave. That took alot of courage. |
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| chop44 | Jun 24 2008, 06:14 PM Post #5 |
All-Star
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awesomeness. washer spoke at one of my previous churches..my dad bought the tape at the time. it's not a decision. its a relationship. its not a conversion. its a regeneration. its not about a bunch of rules. its about wanting to follow those rules. THIS is why our churches are dead. i rejoice with you joel. i know i dont know you personally, and as silly as it sounds, your post makes me giddy. Edited by chop44, Jun 24 2008, 08:04 PM.
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| Homer | Jun 24 2008, 08:46 PM Post #6 |
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Draftee
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your not alone. |
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| Abws1995 | Jun 24 2008, 09:23 PM Post #7 |
Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace
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I am happy for you, but you don't need to be religious to have values. |
 RIP Skip Caray 1939-2008 | |
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| chop44 | Jun 24 2008, 10:23 PM Post #8 |
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All-Star
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where did anyone say you did? pretty much the essence of his post is stating that values and redemption are two entirely different entities.. i dont want to take this thread off of its course, but that was completely random.. 
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| Abws1995 | Jun 25 2008, 01:11 AM Post #9 |
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Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace
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"like me they lived sinful, worldly, self-centered lives." I was just commenting, because it seemed to me that he thinks of his life before finding God as something that was worthless. I am just saying that you can live a happy, unselfish life even if you are not religious. "Sin" is human nature, nothing to be ashamed of. But all in all, I am happy for him. He seems to know what he's doing and where he is going. |
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RIP Skip Caray 1939-2008 | |
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| Homer | Jun 25 2008, 07:21 AM Post #10 |
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Draftee
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Sure you can you have a happy life, but not a happy AFTER life. |
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